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Often Finding Yourself In Bad Challenging Situations? Break The Pattern

Main Article / December 16, 2018

Finding ourselves trapped or captured in situations that are challenging can be one of the more frightening aspects of life.

Despite our best efforts, at some point it is going to happen.

At times we even willingly walk right in to it. Voluntarily heaven forbid. Sometimes for compensation. Especially in our competitive female submission wrestling world.

How many mismatches have you witnessed over the years? Pre-planned domination matches are one thing. Unexpected annihilation is another.

We’ll take a peek at the latter.

fciwomenswrestling.com, grapplingstars.com femcompertitor.com article, femwrestle photo credit

When a respectable experienced competitor like Xena of England takes on one of the world’s best submission wrestlers in Hungary’s Viktoria at the great Femwrestle events, she has to know ahead of time she is in tough.

The only thing she can do is to try and adapt and survive it.

In the Lady Pro wrestling world there are some gorgeous Amazons that roam.

Kamila Kaine is one of them. She is both beauty and the beast combined. This Southern Girl is tall, lean, sexy muscular and mean as they come.

When she took on Amber Nova is the squared circle, Amber had to know ahead of time the royal butt whipping that she was in for.

Don’t get us wrong. We love Amber and so do our friends at Femcompetitor Magazine. They wrote about her with loving details.

Amber Nova, Sparkling Indie Wrestler, Classic Star In Motion

Having expressed all of that, when Amber faced Kamila, she was just too small to match up against this sensuous, tanned Amazon.

It was brutal.

fciwomenswrestling.com, grapplingstars.com femcompertitor.com article, USWA photo credit via YouTube

So here we are speaking of situations in life that we have willingly walked into but find them challenging.

On the other hand, unfortunate situations that surprised us and walked our way placing us in a scenario where we are trapped or captured, that is fascinating story for another time.

How do we respond, which takes time and planning as opposed to how we react, which can be impulsive, in challenging situations that we have willingly walked into or tend to repeat over and over?

The key word is adaptability. An expansion of her cousin which is the word adapt.

Real life situations often provide us with the best learning experiences. We just hope they happen to others and not to us.

We are happy to learn from their mistakes without the pain.

We once knew a female friend that we’ll call Amber. Yes, we just wrote about lady pro Amber so this keeps things simple.

Amber was extremely good looking, personable and strong willed. When she found herself trapped in a marriage that was not a good fit, she decided to separate. We’re not judging or approving

Her decision.

Here is the part that relates to our story.

Amber loved to watch horror films. They really sent a chill up her spine and captivated her. Now at middle age, separated and watching her children go off to college, Amber stopped watching horror films in her fairly spacious home where she lived alone.

Why?

When she watched them while her family was at home, though scared out of her mind, she always took comfort that no matter how frightened she became, her husband or children were in the other rooms.

Now things are different.

Watching a horror film in a large house by yourself, especially at night, is just too unnerving. Every creak or crackle in your sheet rock sounds like an intruder or dark character about to do you some harm.

Amber knows the fear is all in her head, but as we know, that can be a very frightening place.

She tried for a while to continue to enjoy one her favorite pastimes but here are two films that sent her over the edge.

fciwomenswrestling.com, grapplingstars.com femcompertitor.com article, United Artists photo credit

He Knows You’re Alone is a 1980 American slasher film directed by Armand Mastroianni, written by Scott Parker, and starring Caitlin O’Heaney, Don Scardino, Paul Gleason and Tom Hanks in his feature film debut. The plot follows a soon-to-be bride who is stalked by a killer the weekend before her wedding. (United Artists photo credit)

Shot in Staten Island, New York in 1979, He Knows You’re Alone has been credited as one of the first horror films inspired by the success of Halloween (1978) and shares a number of similarities with the previous hit.

When those creepy 1970’s and early 1980’s movies are well-done, they are really scary. Part of their appeal is the low budget.

Yes every girl is a little frightened before her wedding but here she has a very good reason to be.

The next one was even worse.

fciwomenswrestling.com, grapplingstars.com femcompertitor.com article, Columbia Pictures photo credit

When a Stranger Calls is a 1979 American psychological horror film. It was directed by Fred Walton and stars Carol Kane (playing Jill Johnson) and Charles Durning.

The film derives its story from the classic folk legend of “The Babysitter and the Man Upstairs” and the 1974 horror classic Black Christmas. The film was commercially successful, grossing $21,411,158 at the box office way back in 1979.

Though it received a mixed critical reception, the film developed a cult following over time because of the first 20 minutes, now consistently regarded as one of the scariest openings in horror movie history.

Why?

Well Jill is a really nice girl. Aren’t they always?

The not so nice girls tend to be young and nubile and outdoors.

They ride in cars on long distance trips with boys up to no good with blaring music as they drive down lonely roads in the woods or forest where we know the car is going to break down and the beautiful scantily clad girls will get out and walk to the nearest farm house for help.

Not a good idea.

Here Jill is a nice girl who is really sweet and really good and soon will become really scared.

Here is the storyline.

Jill Johnson (Carol Kane) is babysitting the children of Dr. Mandrakis (Carmen Argenziano) at their home. When the children are asleep, Jill receives a telephone call from a man who asks her if she has checked the children. At first, Jill dismisses the telephone calls as a practical joke. However, as the calls become more frequent and threatening, Jill becomes frightened and decides to call the police, who promise to trace the caller if Jill keeps him on the telephone line long enough.

Well, being the good girl that she is, Jill does keep the menacing stranger on the line long enough for the police to trace the call.

When she speaks to them she is in for one big surprise. They alert her to something really important by saying words to the effect, “Get out of the house!”

Why?

Because the call is coming from inside the very home where she is babysitting.

Creepy, scary and unnerving all at the same time.

So you see, our Amber made a decision not to watch them anymore.

As far as movies about the occult, don’t even think about. Amber considered those even worse because at least with the stalker films, you are dealing with a human being in physical form where you can lock the doors and bar the windows and quickly call 911.

With the other genre, none of that will help.

Amber adapted.

Previously she walked into those horror film situations with her eyes open. Now alone, they made her eyes open even more. So she decided to adapt and refrain.

Completely.

She knew that she could go to a friend’s house and watch them while there were others around but you know what?

She still had to go home and be alone. She still had to later go to sleep and dream.

Here is a question for you. Are there situations that you find yourself in that are not good for you yet you keep walking into them with your eyes open?

They can really vary but the consistent variable is that they are not good for you. We didn’t say not good to you. We said not good for you.

There is a big difference.

Amber is a very thoughtful person who tends to look within for solutions to what challenges her. Finding the solution is almost always about self, not about others.

Here her biggest question was why was she attracted to horror movies in the first place?

Determined to break her established patterns, she wanted to do something about the triggers themselves.

After extensive self-analysis based upon defined behavior she came to the conclusion that in her previous life, though at times satisfying, she was often bored and depressed.

The horror films were a form of escape and provided her with a temporary chill and thrill.

The temporary benefits soon wore off.

Now that she was breaking that habit, she decided to replace it with another positive activity that she found to be satisfying and exciting and she eventually settled on learning how to cook French food for friends.

We can attest that she actually became very good at it.

In your situation the challenging scenarios may vary but if participating in them, being a part of them or being in a relationship that is not good for you and you see a pattern, perhaps you might want to analyze the triggering mechanism.

Again, in your case, what is triggering this voluntary somewhat self-destructive behavior?

In our competitive female submission wrestling world, as producers, when we place a competitor in a challenging situation we will adapt and alter certain variables to reduce the challenge.

As an example at Grapplingstars.com when the new San Francisco East Bay cutie Evadne faced off against a star grappler in San Francisco’s Daisy Ducati, we knew Evadne was going to get submitted quickly and often.

We adapted and changed the rules.

Pin counts only. No chokes, body scissors, arm bars or school girl pins.

The long pin count rule helped Evadne keep the match competitive.

Well, we have confidence in you.

We’re not experts or professionals. Just sharing a personal experience.

In the future, when you find that you are voluntarily placing yourself in questionable to bad situations, continually in your own horror film so to speak…

You now know what to do.

fciwomenswrestling.com, grapplingstars.com femcompertitor.com, pexels.com Moose photo credit

~ ~ ~

Opening photo – pexels.com Ambar Simpang photo credit

https://grapplingstars.com/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He_Knows_You%27re_Alone

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/When_a_Stranger_Calls_(1979_film)

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201712/how-break-bad-habits

 


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FCI Womens Wrestling Staff Writer gordon




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