Surprised By Love When Already With Another, Is It Worth The Risk?
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July 30, 2022,
Is it “life happens while you are busy making others plans” or is it “love happens while you are busy making other plans”?
Are they interchangeable?
Sometimes it feels like it.
Can we share two very real life experiences with you?
Let’s begin with Ted.
Ted was trapped in a loveless marriage that started with two people liking one another but not being in love. We would describe it as a corporate marriage.
Over time, one thing that became very clear to Ted is that his wife saw him only through the lens of money. The more money he made, the more she respected him and got along with him. It was also very important to her that Ted kept buying her larger homes.
They were both in organized religion and true believers so Ted tolerated the situation because they had wonderful children. He did wonder, what was going to happen when the children left home?
For over a decade, Ted was quietly unhappy.
No matter, Ted stayed focused on work, deadened his passions and emotions and trudged on.
Until he met Janie, a gorgeous co-worker, who came on to him.
Simply put, Ted tried to ignore her initial flirtations but soon found himself uncontrollably falling in love with her.
Until he was deeply in love with her.
The question Ted asked himself was, is it worth the risk to pursue love with her. Not an affair. Though, up to this point, he never cheated with Janie, having an affair would not satisfy what he was feeling. He wanted a long term relationship with her?
There was a big problem.
He had beautiful children who would lose respect for him and a wife who might divorce him.
Was it worth the risk?
What say you?
Look at Ted’s options.
He has a choice of continuing to feel nothing and keep his family together or feel the incredible passion that he felt with Janie and pursue that. Not an easy situation and certainly a very emotional one.
How did Janie feel about him?
She was attracted to him but not in love with him.
Again, very true story.
Love happened while Ted was busy making other plans.
Then there is Albert, in a more recent story.
At times, Albert both writes for FCI and if he meets the right woman, recruits for FCI wrestling shoots.
It was time for Albert to work on his legal trust and other legal matters so on various occasions he visited a law firm where he met one of their assistants, Charli.
Married as well, truthfully the first few times he meet her, he knew there was something different about her but she really didn’t register with him.
One day while they were shooting the breeze, as he waited for his appointment, Charli asked him what he did for a living.
Albert was in advertising, a job he was okay with, but his real passion was working with us, socializing and watching women fiercely wrestle one another in real competition. He learned that society is not remotely comfortable with women’s wrestling so he always publicly phrased it as female sports and entertainment.
Really? Charli smiled. She then surprised Albert and told him that she was a body builder. She wanted to see his website. After uploading FCI Women’s Wrestling Magazine, she saw him the next day and said “nice”.
Hey folks, you can’t make this stuff up.
Once she said that, it was like a switch went off in Albert’s head.
Now this babe looked absolutely gorgeous.
She was tanned, feminine thick, cute in the face with full lips and had a nice big round booty. Albert was shocked how he previously completely missed how gorgeous this babe was. He is well aware of it now.
Now, he was completely turned on by her. Absolutely wished he could see her wrestle in a red one piece. Would complement her perfect tan. Be mesmerized by her thick thighs in leg struggle.
Ultimately she made a decision not to recruit or wrestle for FCI but to his complete surprise, Albert was shocked that he was developing feelings for Charli. Wanted to make love to her, hold her close, kiss her deeply and caress her big butt.
He was really glad that she decided not to participate. Had she agreed and he began to spend time with her, he was going to crave her.
Love happened while he was busy making other plans.
As a married man, have you found yourself in a situation where you were caught off guard and unintentionally started to develop feelings for a new woman?
If you have a significant girlfriend or a wife, you have an important decision to make.
Is the risk worth it?
We say no. It just isn’t.
First off all, moving forward will turn you into a cheater or adulterer. It is not a, just in the moment situation, where like a mist, one day it will evaporate. You will have to remember that when tested, you failed.
That memory will follow you for the rest of your life.
If you have children and believe that marriage is for life, if they find out what you did, you have now taught them that marriage isn’t for life. It is a convenient arrangement until you meet someone more exciting, new and fresh. Now, years later, they are free to do the same thing without your parental guidance since you failed the test.
Stated another way, it is one thing to poison your own life but it quite another to poison that of your children who have a chance to get life off to a pristine start.
In our minds, tempting though it may be, it is not worth the risk.
What about the uncontrollable love that you feel for her?
Control it. Fantasize about. Role play with a gorgeous Session Girl but keep it within boundaries.
Part of the challenge, and Albert would eventually find this out, is that women can flip the switch on you.
Through her later actions, Albert could see that Charli was actually not a nice person. She was toying around with him and he sensed that, in the Me Too era, she was ready to accuse him of coming on to her, she wasn’t interested in him and felt uncomfortable around him. In fact, given the new atmosphere in the office, he was certain she had already talked about him behind his back.
This flirtation was about her ego. Seeing how many men she could get to fall for her. Very immature and dangerous.
How easy that switch can flip.
Albert soon completely stayed away from her and stopped saying hello.
Very wise.
But let’s say he did go forward and she reciprocated.
He also ran the risk that she might get pregnant. This is not a movie where you make love to women and they never seem to get pregnant.
Are you ready to pay child support for the next twenty years?
Falling in love is easy to do and impel you to purchase rose colored glasses. Think you can live life, like a movie, where it is a romantic comedy.
In the world we live in now, so often people’s lives are complicated and are not as they are presented.
True, love can happen while you are busy making other plans. Our suggestion, unless you are truly single?
Don’t remotely take the risk.
Stay busy following through on your other original plans.
Pain and all.
It’s called being a mature adult.
~ ~ ~
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